It looks like people are enjoying my rambling, so I figured I might as well seize the opportunity to strip down naked and really go for a vulnerability hangover because why the fuck not talk about something that is close to my heart: what ADHD really feels like.
Thanks for sharing Maggie! The sharing of your ADHD aside, I just want to say that I really loved the humour in your writing, weaved delightfully throughout! Like watching the squirrel joyfully fossicking away, which simultaneously brings joy to everyone around. What a strength!
My kids tell me I have ADHD all of the time. I figure I’m just exhausted from them telling me all sorts of things or I’m having a delayed menopause or who knows what
But I love your humor very very much
Thank you for a good chuckle
And I also know that getting your sheet together is not easy
Your article really resonated with me, thank you for sharing. All the points you brought up have a significant effect on me daily. Unfortunately, I feel like a bit of an impostor saying that I have ADHD because when I got tested, my teachers did not give a sufficient response while my parents and I gave one more than sufficient (thanks to my autism for the world-class masking at school).
Also, a side note - I have heard of the ‘ADHD bracket’ thing and I honestly think it’s true. ADHDers, in my observation (and experience?) get sidetracked with so many thoughts that their writing ends up punctuated by brackets everywhere, just look at your comments!
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing. Putting our experiences as ADHD'ers (not a word, I know) out into the world is important. I always appreciate the chance to relate and feel seen in other people's experiences, especially after a lifetime of feeling very much the opposite. Great post!
Great article Maggie. I relate to a lot of your struggles. It is brutal at times, and it can feel like no one understands you (besides other ADHDers). I wrote a lengthy article recently going into it all. There's so much more society can do to cater to neurodiverse people!
Oh man, the shame. So real. Oh and the hyper-focus. I remember spending DAYS researching fitness certifications while trying to navigate a career transition and then at the end of it lost all interest and dropped it like its hot. Great piece.
I know that, as u wrote, ADHD presents itself differently in each individual, but this actually did help me to better understand a family member who I believe has ADHD
Also, I need to know....do squirrels indeed use their tails as sails to cross rivers?
It really helped me personally. I was told by friends that I was 'overreacting' to everything. But how else would you react when you feel like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on your heart?
Well......I subtly brought up the topic of ADD in relation to "someone else that I know" (a fictional character)
It didn't go very well, but maybe I planted a seed.
She was comfortable talking about her ADD (with me, not in general)
She thought that she had already discussed it with me in the past.
If she did, I think I would have remembered.
She has ADD, so who you gonna believe? 🙃
(Sorry, if that's not funny to u. Maybe I shouldn't have written that, but u seem to have a sense of humor about it.
The truth is that her memory is actually far better than mine (Far better than most) when it comes to specifics of personal interactions that happened long ago. Is that maybe correlated to ADD?
There's a good chance she's right, now that I think about it, maybe that's why I was convinced that she had it in the first place (Although, I remember other things that I observed or overhead that I thought led me to that conclusion)
She said that she had heard of RSD, but assured me that she didn't have it. Of course, she understood the implication that if I'm asking about it, even regarding someone else, I may be implying that perhaps she's oversensitive to criticism.
Not great.
She didn't really overreact to it though, which kind of surprised me tbh. (Maybe, she felt that she couldn't bc I could point to it as an example of RSD?)
She also eventually conceded that it may have been true in the past, but is no longer true.
So, I believe that she does have RSD.
I think she knows that she has it, but either isn't comfortable with acknowledging (I can understand why, I probably wouldn't either tbh) it or believes that she has it under control (She doesn't really, but maybe is actively working on it).
I think that my newfound awareness of RSD and her knowledge that I am aware of it should both be beneficial to us whether it's acknowledged or not
What do you say to neuroscientist like Gerald Hüther who say ADHD is not an actual condition / “disease”. I believe it’s just putting a label on the nature of a fucked up brain / a condition to stop people from questioning where it comes from.
It is a brain that needs things that were once considered normal like spending time in nature, healthy food, plenty of exercise, sleep without screens and noise fucking it up and companionship. And ideally also a nice childhood, of course.
I don't like seeing it as a condition or a disease, which is why I try to stay away from terms like 'symptoms', though I still fuck up sometimes.
But at the end of the day, there are things that aren't great about having a brain like that in this kind of society.
And having a 'label', at the very least gives it a name and helps people to understand that they are not alone and their traits aren't character defects 🙏
I was diagnosed 5 years ago but it's only been this year that I've actually accepted it! To not beat myself up for my brain trying to do ten things in ten minutes and funnily enough, not getting any of them done! And rejection or the slightest criticism send my heart racing before I've even heard or read the end of a sentence! Thank you for sharing xx
Thank you so much for writing and sharing this article. Everything you wrote resonated deeply with me.
I'm glad it resonated ❤️ I am writing a life guide and I'll be including some bits and pieces from this article I think 🙏
Thanks for a bit more insight.
You're welcome ❤️
Jesus Christ. I literally *feel* this.
I'm glad/sad it resonates. 🫂
Nah, don't be sad, it's 100% a positive. Shared experiences are good.
Thanks for sharing Maggie! The sharing of your ADHD aside, I just want to say that I really loved the humour in your writing, weaved delightfully throughout! Like watching the squirrel joyfully fossicking away, which simultaneously brings joy to everyone around. What a strength!
That is the most poetic description of my humour and writing ever. Thank you so much ❤️
Hi Maggie
This is so good!
Really good.
My kids tell me I have ADHD all of the time. I figure I’m just exhausted from them telling me all sorts of things or I’m having a delayed menopause or who knows what
But I love your humor very very much
Thank you for a good chuckle
And I also know that getting your sheet together is not easy
Don’t get me wrong
🧐
Ps I found you through Highly sensitive woman
Hormonal changes can bring about similar traits, or exacerbate them. And thanks, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! 😊
Your article really resonated with me, thank you for sharing. All the points you brought up have a significant effect on me daily. Unfortunately, I feel like a bit of an impostor saying that I have ADHD because when I got tested, my teachers did not give a sufficient response while my parents and I gave one more than sufficient (thanks to my autism for the world-class masking at school).
Also, a side note - I have heard of the ‘ADHD bracket’ thing and I honestly think it’s true. ADHDers, in my observation (and experience?) get sidetracked with so many thoughts that their writing ends up punctuated by brackets everywhere, just look at your comments!
You're very welcome ❤️
Teachers have a bunch of kids to keep an eye on. You and the ones close to you have a much better idea of what is going on inside your life and brain.
Hahah yes, I agree. I have to make an effort to not put a load in every sentence I write (though I don't always succeed 😉).
Yes, yes, yes, yes! Thank you for sharing. Putting our experiences as ADHD'ers (not a word, I know) out into the world is important. I always appreciate the chance to relate and feel seen in other people's experiences, especially after a lifetime of feeling very much the opposite. Great post!
Isn't it? I have been using it as a word for years haha!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it ❤️
Probably not technically, but, I’m the same as you and use it anyway!
I feel like I’m an ADHDer.
Maybe you are! But keep in mind that there's overlap with autism, giftedness, depression etc.
Living with a ADHDer, I so relate to what you wrote.
The deep dives into very random and useless topics: checked.
The dead bug / piece of trash / broken thingy that lays there for days or weeks (or until I pick it up): checked.
The uncontrollable emotions: checked
And, although I didn't know the word RSD, I knew the reality of it.
Thank you for sharing your reality and making non-ADHDers better understand what you're living through.
Random topics, yes. Useless well... Only if you never plan on writing a book on squirrels. And who wouldn't?
You're welcome, I'm so glad it helps! ❤️
Great article Maggie. I relate to a lot of your struggles. It is brutal at times, and it can feel like no one understands you (besides other ADHDers). I wrote a lengthy article recently going into it all. There's so much more society can do to cater to neurodiverse people!
It's a tricky one, finding that balance. The same for society and ADHDers.
Oh man, the shame. So real. Oh and the hyper-focus. I remember spending DAYS researching fitness certifications while trying to navigate a career transition and then at the end of it lost all interest and dropped it like its hot. Great piece.
Why do we do this to ourselves? 😳😹
Because it keeps life interesting 😏
Also it supports our capitalist system. (I had to)
Ugh, capitalism. But yeah super shiny interesting and "I need to know everything about it!"
Yeeeep, that too! Like 'oooh shiny new thing, let's totally get sucked into that for a week and then go off of it completely' 🤦♀️😂
I know that, as u wrote, ADHD presents itself differently in each individual, but this actually did help me to better understand a family member who I believe has ADHD
Also, I need to know....do squirrels indeed use their tails as sails to cross rivers?
Good question
Which question?
It's hard to follow
About the squirrels?
I asked the expert
Squirrels do indeed use their tails as sails when crossing rivers.
(Or at least they have been seen doing so in the past)
Oh I'm so glad! Do they think they might be an ADHDer? If so, always welcome to share it with them!
Hahaha better to ask Tom, he's done all the research 😉
@tomcox
Tom,
Do squirrels indeed use their tails as sails to cross rivers?
I was unaware of RSD
That's the part that I think will be beneficial for me/us
It really helped me personally. I was told by friends that I was 'overreacting' to everything. But how else would you react when you feel like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on your heart?
I think they know that they have ADHD, but it's not something they are willing to share yet
Fair enough. If they want to have a chat, I'm here.
Thanks
That's very nice, and would probably be beneficial.
But, first they would have to be willing to talk about it with me, which may never happen
Of course. Everybody has their own timeline.
Well......I subtly brought up the topic of ADD in relation to "someone else that I know" (a fictional character)
It didn't go very well, but maybe I planted a seed.
She was comfortable talking about her ADD (with me, not in general)
She thought that she had already discussed it with me in the past.
If she did, I think I would have remembered.
She has ADD, so who you gonna believe? 🙃
(Sorry, if that's not funny to u. Maybe I shouldn't have written that, but u seem to have a sense of humor about it.
The truth is that her memory is actually far better than mine (Far better than most) when it comes to specifics of personal interactions that happened long ago. Is that maybe correlated to ADD?
There's a good chance she's right, now that I think about it, maybe that's why I was convinced that she had it in the first place (Although, I remember other things that I observed or overhead that I thought led me to that conclusion)
She said that she had heard of RSD, but assured me that she didn't have it. Of course, she understood the implication that if I'm asking about it, even regarding someone else, I may be implying that perhaps she's oversensitive to criticism.
Not great.
She didn't really overreact to it though, which kind of surprised me tbh. (Maybe, she felt that she couldn't bc I could point to it as an example of RSD?)
She also eventually conceded that it may have been true in the past, but is no longer true.
So, I believe that she does have RSD.
I think she knows that she has it, but either isn't comfortable with acknowledging (I can understand why, I probably wouldn't either tbh) it or believes that she has it under control (She doesn't really, but maybe is actively working on it).
I think that my newfound awareness of RSD and her knowledge that I am aware of it should both be beneficial to us whether it's acknowledged or not
So,
Thank you very much
These kind of work should seen and educated people to help someone who really need to listen.🤍
Thank you 🥰 Always welcome to share it ❤️
What do you say to neuroscientist like Gerald Hüther who say ADHD is not an actual condition / “disease”. I believe it’s just putting a label on the nature of a fucked up brain / a condition to stop people from questioning where it comes from.
It is a brain that needs things that were once considered normal like spending time in nature, healthy food, plenty of exercise, sleep without screens and noise fucking it up and companionship. And ideally also a nice childhood, of course.
I don't like seeing it as a condition or a disease, which is why I try to stay away from terms like 'symptoms', though I still fuck up sometimes.
But at the end of the day, there are things that aren't great about having a brain like that in this kind of society.
And having a 'label', at the very least gives it a name and helps people to understand that they are not alone and their traits aren't character defects 🙏
Beautifully said
Aargh for RSD - didn’t realise I had that issue untill last year. It sucks. Every rejection is a kick in the heart even if it is not meant as such.
It is! Though working on my sleep, general stress levels and thoughts has helped a lot ❤️
I was diagnosed 5 years ago but it's only been this year that I've actually accepted it! To not beat myself up for my brain trying to do ten things in ten minutes and funnily enough, not getting any of them done! And rejection or the slightest criticism send my heart racing before I've even heard or read the end of a sentence! Thank you for sharing xx
I understand. It takes time to stop the "It's all my fault, I'm such an idiot" merry-go-round of thoughts.