I no when I am PERRRFECT when I can 👁️👀👀👀👀👀👀 stairrrr at a blank as Fk white wall and not have any emotional emotions over powering your consusnus will to stay still .. content.. humble..safe..and welllllllll🙅
This is so insightful Maggie! I’ve been caught in the perfectionism trap since I was young - possibly linked to one parent leaving and me dealing with feelings of abandonment by being needing to be the “best” at everything. Having 3 kids in 3 years (one then twins) totally shattered my sense of control and any possibility of being the “perfect” parent. I was barely able to meet the lowest possible bar I’d set myself, but it didn’t stop me trying. Until one day, I just could not go on. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It’s been a long road from there to slowly loosen the grip of perfectionism and actually approach life from a place of joy and curiosity, instead of fear. Joining Substack and starting to publish some of my work is a BIG step for me in just creating for fun and letting go of the outcome. It’s a daily practise but I’m here for it! Thank you for your wisdom. Can’t wait to hear more X
Oh I totally understand. So many people have similar experiences, leading them to find help and having to program their brain. I'm so glad you liked it ❤️
I’d like to pretend I haven’t … but that would be lying 🤦🏻♂️. I was once told I was like a camp guard …. not a ‘🌈 camp guard’ …. I believe they meant more of a ‘prison camp’ guard. I’m now reformed !
Thank you for this, Maggie. I enjoyed your insights into how to “exorcise the perfectionism demons”. It’s something I work on constantly, and have managed to improve over the years to lessen the pressure I put on myself.
Perfectionism nearly led me to burnout while I was still living in the Matrix. I'm grateful that I'm no longer a perfectionist or trapped in the Matrix. lol Great topic!
Someone said to me once after I released a relatively mediocre live recording of a song online, “Annie, you don’t get it. Everything you put out there has to be perfect.” 🤣 (screw him, right?). I get accused of being a perfectionist all the time. I prefer to call myself “passionate,” and perhaps “obsessive.” It’s one of the reasons I make art, to make the best work I can. It really sucks when you work hard and others poke holes in the achievement by saying “it’s too perfect” as much as it sucks to hear someone say “this is mediocre.”
No I think people just hate overachievers lol. "Little miss perfect" is an insult, and some people in my life use that sentiment to try to hurt my feelings. My work is far from perfect, everything I've ever done is a compromise, but for some people it seems too effortful and they resent it. People value different things in art. Like in visual art, some people value realism and others prefer abstract because realism is "too perfect" (even if it's far from perfect in reality). I am also a musician and the hate is particularly pronounced from punk rockers that find my work. They also hate that I'm educated. People are weird.
I think I never heard/learned about perfectionism, its spectrum and origins in such a bite-sized yet comprehensive way you managed to talk about it, Maggie!
Thank you so, so much. This was kind of eye-opening including some useful strategies to cope with the more harmful range of the spectrum!
I relate to all of it. But around 6 minutes, its "shoulding all over yourself," because I have a strong conviction against the word should being thrown around. The next thing word you bring to the table is "standards". Which goes hand in hand with shoulding. I didn't learn this until I was about 17. When we say 'should', it implies we're doing something wrong. I think we automatically interpret it that way. But something clicked when I understood it.
It's a huge part of self criticism (yes I'm listening to this a second time, as I write the comment)..
I think the word should is a heavy standard setter. Then you bring up the black and white thinking, which reminds me of binary thinking. Which can lead to even harsher criticism. (Why am I trying to perfect this comment? 😅) 💜
Oh yes, it's an interesting one for sure. Didn't want to go into it too much though, because I don't have a whole lot of personal experience with it. Mostly just the self-torture 😉
I no when I am PERRRFECT when I can 👁️👀👀👀👀👀👀 stairrrr at a blank as Fk white wall and not have any emotional emotions over powering your consusnus will to stay still .. content.. humble..safe..and welllllllll🙅
🤪😆 TAKE SOME antiparasitic s..
I.e de WORM YOUR thort gland. Maybe the catpoo bugs have taken over your emotions. 👄🥳🥳
I don't think so 🤔
Office course not .the toxoplasmosis controlling you don't want to be killed off 🤪🧡🧡👁️
I genuinely have no idea what you are talking about. But that's ok 😅
This is so insightful Maggie! I’ve been caught in the perfectionism trap since I was young - possibly linked to one parent leaving and me dealing with feelings of abandonment by being needing to be the “best” at everything. Having 3 kids in 3 years (one then twins) totally shattered my sense of control and any possibility of being the “perfect” parent. I was barely able to meet the lowest possible bar I’d set myself, but it didn’t stop me trying. Until one day, I just could not go on. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. It’s been a long road from there to slowly loosen the grip of perfectionism and actually approach life from a place of joy and curiosity, instead of fear. Joining Substack and starting to publish some of my work is a BIG step for me in just creating for fun and letting go of the outcome. It’s a daily practise but I’m here for it! Thank you for your wisdom. Can’t wait to hear more X
Oh I totally understand. So many people have similar experiences, leading them to find help and having to program their brain. I'm so glad you liked it ❤️
Best line ever … “you’re being an overly demanding dick to other people” 🥳😂🤣
Haha well... it is what it is! I have had my overly demanding dick moments 😬
I’ll bet 😂😂
?
Overly demanding Dick moments 😬
I’d like to pretend I haven’t … but that would be lying 🤦🏻♂️. I was once told I was like a camp guard …. not a ‘🌈 camp guard’ …. I believe they meant more of a ‘prison camp’ guard. I’m now reformed !
We live, we learn 🙏
Thank you for this, Maggie. I enjoyed your insights into how to “exorcise the perfectionism demons”. It’s something I work on constantly, and have managed to improve over the years to lessen the pressure I put on myself.
This work takes time, but it really helps ❤️
Maggie, thank you for this. A healthy reminder and a friendly course mind correction to focus on progress.
You're welcome Norm, I'm glad it helped 🙏
Perfectionism nearly led me to burnout while I was still living in the Matrix. I'm grateful that I'm no longer a perfectionist or trapped in the Matrix. lol Great topic!
I'm happy to hear you're no longer a perfectionist 💪 It can be so taxing on our mind and body!
100% :)
Wankery!! 😂😂 love it! Thanks!
Hahah but they are!! 😂 Thank you for reading ❤️
My pleasure!! Thanks for writing!! 🌸
YES!!!! They CERTAINLY ARE!!!! Great word!!! 👍😂😂💚
Someone said to me once after I released a relatively mediocre live recording of a song online, “Annie, you don’t get it. Everything you put out there has to be perfect.” 🤣 (screw him, right?). I get accused of being a perfectionist all the time. I prefer to call myself “passionate,” and perhaps “obsessive.” It’s one of the reasons I make art, to make the best work I can. It really sucks when you work hard and others poke holes in the achievement by saying “it’s too perfect” as much as it sucks to hear someone say “this is mediocre.”
How odd that they are telling you it's too perfect. Could it be that they mean something else?
No I think people just hate overachievers lol. "Little miss perfect" is an insult, and some people in my life use that sentiment to try to hurt my feelings. My work is far from perfect, everything I've ever done is a compromise, but for some people it seems too effortful and they resent it. People value different things in art. Like in visual art, some people value realism and others prefer abstract because realism is "too perfect" (even if it's far from perfect in reality). I am also a musician and the hate is particularly pronounced from punk rockers that find my work. They also hate that I'm educated. People are weird.
There is also envy, for sure. I try to only take comments like that to heart from people I give a fuck about, which aren't a whole lot.
I think I never heard/learned about perfectionism, its spectrum and origins in such a bite-sized yet comprehensive way you managed to talk about it, Maggie!
Thank you so, so much. This was kind of eye-opening including some useful strategies to cope with the more harmful range of the spectrum!
Thank you so much Fabienne, your comment made my day ❤️ I really wanted it to be clear so I'm glad I managed 🙏
You absolutely nailed it!
Would you say it's... perfect?
Hahaha I had to (my wankery perfectionism demon told me)
Would we say it’s…healthy perfect since it is serving a humbling and healthy purpose? 🤣
Deal 🤝
Fantastic
Thanks Prajna, what resonated with you?
I relate to all of it. But around 6 minutes, its "shoulding all over yourself," because I have a strong conviction against the word should being thrown around. The next thing word you bring to the table is "standards". Which goes hand in hand with shoulding. I didn't learn this until I was about 17. When we say 'should', it implies we're doing something wrong. I think we automatically interpret it that way. But something clicked when I understood it.
It's a huge part of self criticism (yes I'm listening to this a second time, as I write the comment)..
I think the word should is a heavy standard setter. Then you bring up the black and white thinking, which reminds me of binary thinking. Which can lead to even harsher criticism. (Why am I trying to perfect this comment? 😅) 💜
Yep, the shoulding is part of the self-criticism, and black and white thinking doesn't help. There are so many delicious layers to it all 😅
The point is, you did an awesome job 😎.
Thank you 🥰
Aww i loved this one! 💜
Awesome 😊 Which part could you relate to?
Great tips! Thank you. Progress over perfection is so important!
You're welcome, glad you liked it! And yes, progress over perfection. I have to repeat it to myself too still at times!
That's exactly what I needed to hear thanks you help alot
You're welcome 😊
God bless you and your family forever
Oh yes, it's an interesting one for sure. Didn't want to go into it too much though, because I don't have a whole lot of personal experience with it. Mostly just the self-torture 😉