I married mine, and never told anyone in my family. We had a courthouse wedding, just the two of us. No party - I didn't want one because I was terrified he'd get too drunk at it. Finally got my head straight and divorced him - did all the paperwork myself, no lawyers. All by 23. Still have never told my family.
Maggie, I subscribed based on this post only – freakin fantastic. Way too much to say, but thank you for sharing and know that this happens to the best of us. Sometimes emasculating, but certainly happened to me too. My friends told me repeatedly for years and I made excuse after excuse until I realized how much it was affecting me. What you shared will reach someone you don’t realize you’ll help - Thank you for showing strength through vulnerability, my friend.
Oh thank you so much for this beautiful comment! Of all my posts, I want this one (and the one about ADHD) to 'travel' the most. I needed to read something like this when I was in that situation.
All the hugs to you for sharing this! 🖤 Physical abuse is the one that gets talked about the most, but emotional abuse leaves ugly nasty scars, too. Compounded because they're invisible wounds. 😥 I'm so so so glad that you got out, it takes such courage to do so. P.S. Your drawing is really powerful!!! You've definitely got skills! 💕
Exactly, you can't see them so maybe it never happened and it was 'just in your head'. Crazy-making. And thanks for saying that, I do like drawing to process my shit ❤️
Bella, I don't have words... what I can say is that I understand you. You're so brave. And I'm very sorry you had to go through this. Sending you a huge hug 🫂 Thanks for sharing.
Wow, what a story! I'm so glad you got out of there. And now your head is back above water. Unfortunately, I've heard a fair share of stories throughout my travels where people felt suffocated in a relationships and eventually broke free and got out like you did. But I can't help but wonder how many are still stuck in that situation. I would imagine more than had the confidence to break free. Really grateful for your co-worker friends here. There are definitely some truly awful people out there in the dating world. But there are also some incredible ones as well. I've met some of them. I can understand an experience like this can lead to a huge setback in the dating world, but you're stronger now and you will end up in the wonderful relationship that you deserve if you haven't already. Getting out of there freed up space for something new and amazing to come your way.
I have a big hug for you Maggie. I’ve been through my own version of this twice (back to back, what an idiot) and it’s horrific. The coercive control, the moods, the substance abuse and the systematic pressing of all your vulnerabilities. I stayed WAY longer than I should have both times with red flags galore. I’m still not ready to write about it yet but I’m glad you’ve got this off your chest. I’ll get there eventually, if there are enough swear words in the English language to write it. X
We do the best we can with what we know, I don't know it helps you but that one sentence helped me to forgive myself. And it was horrific, but I have learnt a lot from it and I truly believe I am a better person now than before that happened ❤️
"He never laid a finger on me. He just took all my insecurities and forged a dagger out of them, then." I wish more women were taught about coercive control. I stayed with a guy like this because he didn't hit me. I thought physical violence was the only reason a person could leave a relationship. We are told to "make it work".
Thanks for such a beautiful comment, Mark ❤️ Very true, a complicated childhood and a different brain don't make it easier. But in a way it's also a story about how beautiful people can be, like those two coworkers.
PS: I doubt that your daughter will bring someone like that home, with a loving father like you 😊
Thanks Peter, commenting here increases visibility and helps people who need to read this to find it, so what you're doing is perfect! As for the BMAC situation, I honestly don't know. I have Paypal to process payments on my website, maybe I can send you my handle?
I married mine, and never told anyone in my family. We had a courthouse wedding, just the two of us. No party - I didn't want one because I was terrified he'd get too drunk at it. Finally got my head straight and divorced him - did all the paperwork myself, no lawyers. All by 23. Still have never told my family.
It's inspiring that you did it all yourself, and at such a young age! We deserve better ❤️
Maggie, I subscribed based on this post only – freakin fantastic. Way too much to say, but thank you for sharing and know that this happens to the best of us. Sometimes emasculating, but certainly happened to me too. My friends told me repeatedly for years and I made excuse after excuse until I realized how much it was affecting me. What you shared will reach someone you don’t realize you’ll help - Thank you for showing strength through vulnerability, my friend.
Oh thank you so much for this beautiful comment! Of all my posts, I want this one (and the one about ADHD) to 'travel' the most. I needed to read something like this when I was in that situation.
And now, you are offering what you needed them to someone else. 💚
I am. I really hope it is helping some people out there ❤️
Wow. Thank you for sharing. Have been there. ❤️
Sorry to hear you had to go through something similar 🫂
All the hugs to you for sharing this! 🖤 Physical abuse is the one that gets talked about the most, but emotional abuse leaves ugly nasty scars, too. Compounded because they're invisible wounds. 😥 I'm so so so glad that you got out, it takes such courage to do so. P.S. Your drawing is really powerful!!! You've definitely got skills! 💕
Exactly, you can't see them so maybe it never happened and it was 'just in your head'. Crazy-making. And thanks for saying that, I do like drawing to process my shit ❤️
Bella, I don't have words... what I can say is that I understand you. You're so brave. And I'm very sorry you had to go through this. Sending you a huge hug 🫂 Thanks for sharing.
Thanks querida ❤️ I hope it helps someone out there.
Wow, what a story! I'm so glad you got out of there. And now your head is back above water. Unfortunately, I've heard a fair share of stories throughout my travels where people felt suffocated in a relationships and eventually broke free and got out like you did. But I can't help but wonder how many are still stuck in that situation. I would imagine more than had the confidence to break free. Really grateful for your co-worker friends here. There are definitely some truly awful people out there in the dating world. But there are also some incredible ones as well. I've met some of them. I can understand an experience like this can lead to a huge setback in the dating world, but you're stronger now and you will end up in the wonderful relationship that you deserve if you haven't already. Getting out of there freed up space for something new and amazing to come your way.
Oh absolutely, this happened 12 years ago, and I am now in a happy relationship ❤️ But the anxiety lingers, unfortunately...
I have a big hug for you Maggie. I’ve been through my own version of this twice (back to back, what an idiot) and it’s horrific. The coercive control, the moods, the substance abuse and the systematic pressing of all your vulnerabilities. I stayed WAY longer than I should have both times with red flags galore. I’m still not ready to write about it yet but I’m glad you’ve got this off your chest. I’ll get there eventually, if there are enough swear words in the English language to write it. X
We do the best we can with what we know, I don't know it helps you but that one sentence helped me to forgive myself. And it was horrific, but I have learnt a lot from it and I truly believe I am a better person now than before that happened ❤️
Good on you for sharing Maggie. I appreciate the courage, as well as the learnings from it!
Thank you so much ❤️ Always welcome to share the learnings (if you feel comfortable doing that)
I’m so sorry you had to go through this, Maggie. It’s brave of you to share your story here, and I’m sure you’re helping some people by doing so.
I really hope so. It would be great if it reaches someone who needs to read this right now.
What a d*k@….
I think you’re brave to share this one.
Thank you, it took a few tears let's say 😅
"He never laid a finger on me. He just took all my insecurities and forged a dagger out of them, then." I wish more women were taught about coercive control. I stayed with a guy like this because he didn't hit me. I thought physical violence was the only reason a person could leave a relationship. We are told to "make it work".
Oh yes. Especially coming from a strict Catholic family, in my case 😅
A deeply personal and heartfelt share, Maggie - I’m so sorry you had to go through that.
But looking at the positives in your story, it’s clear you’re an even stronger person for having navigated that level of dumbfuckery!
‘P’ is exactly the sort I used to dread my daughter might one day bring home - mostly so I could knock seven bells of 💩 out of him.
I know what it’s like to end up in the hands of people like P.
I’ve done it myself more than a few times over the years; when you’re carrying a complicated childhood and a different brain, it can be all too easy.
But here’s to us moving forward, clearer and stronger. Thank you for sharing your story, Maggie - it’ll resonate with more people than you know. 👊🏻😎😘
Thanks for such a beautiful comment, Mark ❤️ Very true, a complicated childhood and a different brain don't make it easier. But in a way it's also a story about how beautiful people can be, like those two coworkers.
PS: I doubt that your daughter will bring someone like that home, with a loving father like you 😊
Yes - not something I can pull her up on sadly 🤦🏻♂️🤪😂😂😘
Thank you so much Mike 🙏 Yep, it's always a little different, but at the same time spookily similar!
Thanks Peter, commenting here increases visibility and helps people who need to read this to find it, so what you're doing is perfect! As for the BMAC situation, I honestly don't know. I have Paypal to process payments on my website, maybe I can send you my handle?
This should be it: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/maggiejon
Thank you so, so much 🥺 That really means a lot to me ❤️