Ted Lasso vs Coaching

I was going to write about something else entirely, today. But this time of the year my brain’s “Oh fuck no” dial tends to be stuck at level 10 out of 5, and for once I am not going to force it with strategies.

So, let’s talk about Ted, baby. And about the connection between this show and one-on-one coaching.

For those of you who haven’t watched my new favorite show yet: Ted Lasso is about an American middle-aged man who moves to England to coach an underperforming soccer football team… while knowing nothing about soccer. I mean football.

BUT.

It is about so much more than the “inspiring coach gets results” trope. The show explores themes like power dynamics, healthy male and female leadership, healthy male and female friendships, therapy as a real tool for mental health, and how a toxic parent-child relationship leads to twattish behavior.

Also, as Jackson Houser rightly pointed out to me, the show is literally about coaching, so that gives me a nice excuse to talk about my flavor of coaching. The one-on-one kind.

Now generally, soccer coaching is very fucking different from ADHD or even health coaching. Mostly because a soccer coach essentially tells you what to do (training and tactics), to reach a very well-defined goal (winning the match).

An ADHD coach asks you annoying questions gives you the space and knowledge to figure out what your goal is - and believe it or not, it’s not always “to win”. Sometimes your goal is to lose. Then, an ADHD coach gives you tips and strategies to reach those goals.

But here’s where the coaching as portrayed in the show mimics real-life one-on-one coaching (though I suspect most other coaches are a little less heavy on the Roy).

Let’s start with Ted’s. Ted is your biggest fan, even if you don’t yet understand why. He won’t ever let you forget your accomplishments. He dances like a crazy person when you win and he’s there for you when you don’t. He is the master of positive reframes and does everything he can to make you feel safe.

Also, he never, ever swears.

Then there’s Roy’s coaching. He’s as blunt as a sword someone battered over a rock to create a fire in the woods very honest. He holds you accountable and calls you out on your bullshit - but it’s always coming from a place of love. He tells you when something is fucked and doesn’t immediately try to make it better.

Also, he swears as much as his eyebrows are expressive.

So, you know, maybe one-on-one coaching isn’t as horrible as people on social media make it out to be. It might not even be poopeh.

I’m only half-planning to print this one out and stick it on my wall.