It's Me, Hi, blahblahblahblah It's Me!
Okay folks! Just in case you haven’t been note stalking me following my shenanigans via notes, let me level with you.
The past few weeks, and especially this week, have been exhausting as fuck. Not because I have more clients, but because I am working towards having more clients, without any Jimmy McGill-like flair to help me.
I am also trying to learn a challenging language (spank you very much, subjuntivo), going through some stuff at home and dealing with a bucket full of Bureaucratic Bullshit so pungent it would impress foreigners who ever had the misfortune of dealing with the Maltese identity agency.
As some of you know, I usually post a newsletter every two weeks, on Friday. But I simply ran out of time and energy this week. So, because I do love writing and connecting with you all, I am writing to you now but in a different way - more stream of consciousness-style. Meaning, little editing or creatively worded swearing. Discúlpame.
I would like to talk about how I became a life and health coach. It all started when my mom finally pushed me out of her vagina after being in labour for 2 days, which she of course blames me for to this day. Sorry, too far back, and too childhood trauma-t-y. My bad!
It all started when I, after being a social worker in Belgium, working as a sports massage therapist in Australia and England, selling my practice and moving to Malta, got into the corporate world.
Why, you ask? Because I had a body that refused to do massage anymore, and a partner plus a few cats who chose me as their sucker mom (not a typo) to look after. I needed money, and I needed it yesterday.
SO, I got into customer support and worked my way up, right until management changed and I was going to have to report to a cunt of a woman morally challenged lady. I swiftly bid them adieu, after politely reporting the cunty morally challenged behavior of course.
All that drama, combined with a lifetime of perfectionism, high-functioning depression, anxiety and (then undiagnosed) ADHD, caused my poor body to finally break down and I ended up taking seven months off.
Sadly, my savings told me to fuck off with my plans to turn my food blog into an empire rivalling Gordon Ramsay’s, and so I ended up getting another corporate job, in compliance this time.
If I ever felt like a fraud shimmying my way through the corporate world earlier, it was SO MUCH worse here. And on top of that I was well on my way to destroying my marriage.
So, I got my ass into therapy.
If you have listened to my podcast, you know that I often recommend going to a therapist. The reason for that is that it saved my life (but not the marriage). I worked on a ton of negative self-talk and discovered I have ADHD, which was an ‘Ohh so that’s why I can’t do boring stuff to save my life and always get into stressful situations’ moment aha moment.
Anyway, I continued working in the corporate world, because… bills. After experiencing a ridiculous amount of pressure in my job, touch starvation, various romantic ‘learning opportunities’, and the feeling that I wasn’t supposed to be there, I had a good old life-changing cry on my 35th birthday.
Don’t get me wrong, it sucked balls, crying until there were no more tears or snot bubbles left in my body. But at that moment, I decided that A. I fucking loathed corporate anything and B. I wanted to get back to my roots as a social worker in some way. Because as much as I can be a grumpy bitch, I do like working with people, and I also like making a difference.
I know, I couldn’t be more Millennial.
So, I looked at my past work experience and my interests. I connected all the things I wrote in bold in this newsletter (made you look!) and came to the conclusion that coaching ticked all the boxes. I studied nutrition, health and wellness coaching for a year, and your favorite foul-mouthed life and health coach was born.
I couldn’t be happier. Sure, there’s the financial pressure which honestly, is not for the faint of heart. But I get to help people change their mindset, their health, their relationships, their lives. I will never have kids, and so THIS, this is my legacy. At least some part of the work I do with my clients will live on for generations. And that is fucking awesome.
You teach what you know. I know it seems like everyone is a coach but I have set up coaching for a specific niche - high functioning adults on the spectrum; specifically women and donor especially for those late diagnosed because I am that. And I’m still standing after trauma and then therapy. The best support and inspiration comes from a place of authenticity and what could be more profound and authentic than having lived through it?
Thanks for sharing this story. That’s a great idea to list out everything and then see how you can piece them together. Also, love the visual. 😹